BMORENEWS.com

Avon Bellamy

By Avon Bellamy

(BALTIMORE - August 29, 2009) - I had someone ask me a deceptively simple question the other day that, after scrutiny, was quite complex. The question: How do you know when you have become a man?

What makes the question far more complex than it appears on the surface is that quite often definitions of manhood are culturally authenticated and differ in societies around the globe. There are, however, despite this globalization of the concept, some consistencies in defining what makes a male a man. And I guess one should start with that difference: Male vs. Man.

Physically, males are biologically and bio-chemically defined. If a being has genitalia consisting of a scrotum and a penis, and testosterone is the primary hormone defining his bio-chemical structure, he is considered male. However, being male does not necessarily define him as a man. Manhood is not a bio-chemical process; it is a learned process that has male-hood as its point of origin. Becoming a man is a training process governed by other men; hopefully, these are men who have a clear and responsible understanding of what makes a male a man. Further, what definition of manhood would be used for the construction of a training process?

Some of you may remember Alex Haley’s book, “Roots” (for those of you who don’t know about it get the book and read it; it’s a compelling story). The book, and later the television mini-series, outlines an African approach to changing a male into a man.

The development from male to man was conducted with training in the three major roles a man must play: spiritual leader and educator, protector, and provider. In the “Roots” training protocol, at age 12 for a three-year period, boys were taken from their mothers, moved into a community of men and kept separate from women until they were 15-years old.

During that three-year period, they were trained by men in the following things: how to pray and acknowledge God as supreme (who can forget the scene in the TV mini-series where baby Kunta Kinte is lifted by his father toward the heavens and commanded, “Behold the only thing greater than thyself”); how to use the weapons and strategies related to warfare so that they could protect their families and community against enemies; how to treat and give pleasure to their wives; how to make provision for a family; and how to build not only a house but a home.

This particular training construct recognizes that man is a triune being – a spirit, the part of his make up that is Divine and unspoiled; a soul, the sum total of his thoughts and experiences and the lessons learned thereby; and finally, a body, the physical container used to house the other two.

This understanding of the triune man is not unique; it is an understanding that has been shared throughout the Afro-Asian world for centuries. It is embedded in the culture of the area and Jews, Arabs and Asians have spent centuries systematically training their males in these understandings. The Jewish Bar Mitzvah is a prime example.

Bar Mitzvah literally means, Son of the Commandment. Every Jewish male is trained in all the responsibilities of Jewish manhood using the Torah as the training manual. The responsibilities embodied in the training are mirrored in the African model sited above.

As a confirmation of the end of his training, a Jewish boy on his 13^th birthday before a Rabbi, his family and a community of witnesses, ceremonially affirms his identity with God as a man by quoting from the Torah as the Rabbi commands. His first duty as a man is to know his God and to give evidence that he has studied His laws.

At the beginning of the ceremony, he makes this declaration: “Today, I am a man.”

By this time the reader is probably gaining an understanding of what I meant in the opening premise for this article - that this is a complex issue. We discover in manhood a learned process, not a genetically inherent one. And if that is the case, where is the process by which we, Americans, are trained in the prerequisites for manhood?

In truth, this culture does not have a systematic training process for male development. The process here is so random, it is frightening. Men in some of our communities are so male that having them teach anyone anything is a great liability upon the community.

And I understand the dilemma. Without a proper teacher, one cannot get a proper result. Untrained males cannot produce a man anymore than an onion seed can produce an apple tree. Every training process requires a teacher to model the process for the student and to answer whatever questions the student may have. Without a model, you get chaos. Let me give the reader an example of what I mean.

On an animal reserve in South Africa, the game warden decided there were too many elephants in one area and determined to move several of the younger bulls to another reserve some distance away. Once the young bulls arrived they began creating havoc among the other animals, killing several. This negative behavior continued until one of the native keepers suggested moving a few of the older bulls to that reserve, also.

Within a matter of days, the negative behavior of the young bulls stopped. Why? Because with the arrival of the older bulls, who corrected the young bulls when they were out of line, the young bulls had a model for what their behavior should be. 

What is the model one would use in this culture to determine manhood? What would it consist of in order to allow the question, “How do you know when you have become a man?” to be answered.

If one followed the construct outlined in this article, one would need to:

• Learn the value of forming a relationship with God, and to practice the tenets of that relationship as defined by a book of Divine Law.
• Understanding the value of that book and its Laws then becomes the foundation stone for the way one treats others with whom one has contact.
• Learn the value of a woman and honor her as a Divine part of oneself as essential to one as one’s own Divine self.
• Learn how to please one’s woman spiritually, emotionally and physically, as a part of a Divine duty that leads to the creation of family and community.
• Learn how to be responsible for providing leadership and support for one’s woman and the children she bears him; and
• Learn and teach the warrior skills needed to protect one’s woman, one’s children and one’s community from their enemies.

Males not performing some part of these six steps are the enemy, and a danger to the community of which they are a part. We see this danger being acted out in our streets by boys who have adopted negatively focused males as manhood models. Lacking responsible men as their training models, they have become rogues who wreak havoc upon a community much like the model-less young bull elephants did in the South African animal reserve.

When a male can accomplish the six positive attributes listed above within a community of men, he is recognized by other men as a man. He decrees by reason of his socio-cultural conduct, what the Jewish male decrees at the beginning of his Bar Mitzvah, “I am a man.”  And the community at-large sees, hears and agrees.

Tags: black men, manhood