BMORENEWS.com

Doni Glover (R) in 2006 with lifelong neighbor and friend, Uncle Buck. Uncle Buck is 98-years old.

In Memory of My Late Dad, Donald E. Glover
By Doni Glover, www.bmorenews.com

(BALTIMORE – Father’s Day 2009) – What is a man? To me, a man is mind.

I came to learn early on that a man is not defined by his build, his swagger, his car, nor his bank account. The true measure of a man is not enunciated by how many women he has been with, but, according to Charlie Dugger, how long he can actually stay with one.

A man is not characterized by how many businesses he has built, nor by how low his pants hang below his waste. A man is not articulated by how many people he can impress or entertain, how well he dresses, or how gifted he is. He is not defined by his occupation.

A man, as noted by Rudyard Kipling in the poem “If”, is actually best remembered by his character. His integrity. How good he was to his friends. How he was able to lose and not whimper, fight when all else seemed lost, go where others wouldn’t go, feel when others would not empathize, dare to ring the bell in the crucible with fire and gold when others simply lost their fortitude and very will to survive: “To walk with kings and not lose the common touch.” 

A man is best remembered by his service to his community. As my best friend often reminds me, love is an action word. She says that it is not about what you say, but what you do. Another person very dear to me, Leroy, says that character is best determined by the litmus test of what one does when nobody else is around.  

Years ago, I read a poster at my dad’s house: It said that a person ought not pray for an easy life. No! Pray to be a strong person and for the resilience to be able to bounce back from any situation. 

Also, a man is wise enough to know how little he really knows in the big scheme of things and is “slow to wrath” and “quick to listen.” A man is aware that our Creator lives and realizes just how miniscule his very existence, as a mere mortal, really is compared to the age of the galaxies. Hence, who am I to be unforgiving, hateful, bitter, angry? Who am I to not apologize when I know I am wrong? Who am I to forget who I really am in this world. As Taraji P. Henson recently quoted, “It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about God.”

A man is grateful for each new day, counts his blessings, is reverent of women and elders, watchful of all children and geared towards their education and edification as human beings, and is conscientious of all his actions - to the best of his ability - in society. Even more, he understands his day role and his night role. Hence, he may be a politician by day, but a cook at home for the family by night.

Yes, a man can cook … and clean … and sew, and he understands nature, appreciates the other animals in the kingdom, and strives to preserve this world for countless generations to come. 

A man does not judge people on their faith, but instead seeks to find the commonalities in all mankind and how to build upon those relationships to strengthen those ties, regardless of creed, race, religion or nationality.

A man is not selfish nor thinks he is an island; nor does he seek to be isolated – let alone banished – for truly, that is the absolute worst. What is meaningful to him is the assembly of the righteous, the karma of good over evil, and the reality of grace – getting what we don’t deserve – and mercy – not getting what we do deserve.

To me, one of the most important characteristics of manhood is being able to acknowledge one’s mistakes, one’s shortcomings, one’s character flaws – being willing to improve upon them – and then actually taking the steps to do so.

For any wise man knows that if one is knocked down a million times, it is the man who can get up a million and one times who is a winner.

Hence, I think a man’s focus is utilizing his internal fortitude and his innate perpetual resolve so as to tap the tireless ambition … not matter how arduous the task … and dare do the impossible … even in the midst of war … so as to realize God’s purpose for his life. 

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